U-can-tell-BOLIVIA-that-i-am-taking-calc-4-this-fall-for-credit--its-online-but-exams-in-person/README.md

# U-can-tell-BOLIVIA-that-i-am-taking-calc-3-this-summer-for-credit--its-online-but-exams-in-person
- [ ] i have to register for calc 4 (for credit) soon, inshallah everything is going to keep going well -- diff eqs, it's saying the mid-term & final are in person but otherwise it's online. i can review some things before the fall semester begins (sep 8). https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/18-03-differential-equations-spring-2010/ & then whatever comes after that i'll take in spring 2027
* __i have a lot to memorize and problems to do and etc im super busy until my final mid-august. do not worry about me, im fine__
- [ ] oo this is a good yt channel https://www.youtube.com/@SimonsInstitute cant wrap my mind around it now bc im studying, i also have to remind myself that claude can recommend yt videos here FOR ME when i ask it questions & i want more info.
`#mood` for the rest of the year

![img](well-guess-what-now-this-is-happening--anchorman.png)
* https://milestones.vibecodeistan.com bot crawlable, going to add more streams of his public social media accounts on there as time goes on, busy today, trying to get a russian manicure appt for tomorrow hope it works out


# the **goal** (the bigger goal) is to eventually (after doing the chapter/section problems), do those **hard** **abstract-ish** **think outside of the box** **connect a lot of things together** **depth & breadth** type problems -> dont get comfortable with the ones just checking one concept at a time -- type problems, the goal is to solve the multiple concepts in one problem type of problems i dunno how to describe them -- they're just difficult

# im not checking ANYTHING & ure wasting tokens for no reasons

* once i set up the SSO (single sign-on via authelia) (it saying its going to take 2 hrs, fable u overachieving btch) -> all the bot crawl dashboards are going to be gated and behind like a non-solvable sudoku puzzle and even then, i cant see bc I DO NOT CARE, this is useless info
* i only get a notification if there is an anomaly

# **no yapping from me when my timer to study is on**

i just woke up after my bros wedding earlier this month and decided, u know, lets do it, lets take calc 3 over the summer

make dua for me, i want a really good grade

i took out like 6 calc books from the public library to review etc.

8 weeks of class & studying, inshaAllah i will get a good grade

its just a huge secret

im just obsessed, i want to know more math

in the end, i can read papers about backpropagation, im so excited

i was telling my brother and SIL, like u owe it to urself in ur life to attack and work on ur insecurities, whatever they are, that are holding u back from ur best self, then we went to a comedy show and somebody asked a question about aliens from the audience and im like WTF ppl are so dumb, im def registering for that class so i did

im busy this week ttyl just on vacation leaving in a few hrs

me to myself a couple of days ago "ehhhh u know what there's a small chance, like 1% chance i wont be able to log in to my student account if im out of the country, prolly not gonna happen" -> literally 100% thats what happened, i asked my brother if he has a pc i can remote in to & he does but vpn from buffalo worked :|

"HW=30%, Quizzes=10% Exams=60%""; no quiz/exam this week, 1st hw is due 7/6 @ midnight & i cant see it yet its not open but i'll just feed the syllabus into claude and do things with it

i have to email the help desk apparently and tell them im out of the country so they can allow me to log into canvas for a week, OK I WILL DO THAT -_- 

yo claude/chatgpt are like calc 3 office hours 24/7, unbiased, UNBIASED, no question is too small or too big, i want to learn how to plot things in 3D in jupyter or julia w/e for my own knowledge

apparently i can incorporate notebooklm into things via claude into my server and then i read something where when u upload ur notes, theres a way to make claude summarize them etc, i dunno, i just need to do problems

my brother gave me a umd windows pc to remote into :))

ok first week is medium-difficult-ish but do-able, dot & cross products, stuff from linear algebra i have (or get to) to review, i thought we would start at double integrals but not yet. the textbook uses examples from physics which is good i like physics.

calc 3, even tho the first week is linear algebra-ish review, its like the text/words in the book -> my immediate imagination i dunno, once its there then it makes sense, but i can keep asking claude to explain it to be simplier so i dont have to memorize really i dunno, rn i feel like my frustration/embarrassment is like, holy sht i forgot some of this stuff but its like duh, i havent taken linear algebra since 2012, maybe i should make voice notes too for myself

claude: "is just the boring edge case" me: EXACTLY!! lol

claude: "The textbook actually calls this out directly on page xx — it warns you to distinguish ## from ##, because they look almost identical but mean different things." its so crazy it can do this. ok i have to study then we're going out to dinner

i have to keep saying this, for myself, but like if ure insecure about anything, like u have to attack it and overcome it, its not worth it bc theres so much on the other side. ive worked with ppl with adv degrees who have like poor programming skills and they cant help themselves and its like, u can fix that and be better. not worth it to not be ur best if u can.

i love that the examples in this book are from physics. the order of things i love/i get: 1. physics 2. chemistry ... later on lol biology, i dunno, it just is like that. u immediately know how much physics someone has taken based on how they drive, ive been judging ppl since hs about this lol, physics is the most useful STEM class from hs/undergrad imo. like oh you're tailing me during an absolute downpour at night, and ure a man, ure an idiot who has never taken physics, happens, use to happen when i use to drive to my apt at night in philly, its like, ure really dumb for doing this

"its just a dumb MAN who has never taken physics" - me to myself since hs when im driving, when i took drivers education in hs, the teacher said they're like that bc they have daddy issues. "its all psychology" - marc andreessen (like what 2 yrs ago) everyday i think about this.

its not just when they're DRIVING, when i was in bethesda, oh man, it's when they're on a bicycle too, they would ride their bicycle in the center of the lane and not move to the side when i was behind them. putting these men on bicycles doesnt solve the issue either, theyre still annoying. ok bye.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sal_Khan this guy is an amazing person for what he started, but it didnt exist (yet) when i was taking my undergrad classes (and i didnt really go to office hrs), i havent used it for calc 3 yet but i will next week when its more intense stuff

ok going to dinner soon then gotta finish the section

https://lelouch.dev/blog/august-2024/documenting-your-grind/ ok interesting

the times i have gotten an A in a class its bc i was just obsessed with the class and i could move past any setbacks etc etc 

julia im going to learn more of (on my own):
* https://jverzani.github.io/CalculusWithJuliaNotes.jl/
* https://plutojl.org/

u know how ppl use julia, they have legacy R code right sitting around for yrs thats slow, they use AI to translate it to julia so then its modern, faster & uses less memory 

- [ ] i have to track my coffee consumption throughout the day on my study dashboard

https://community.obsidian.md/search?type=plugin some interesting ideas from here too, https://raindrop.io/ what is this can i self-host it on my server, will look into it later busy now

- [ ] i have to migrate herlog to its own server and install https://github.com/tryghost/ghost on it and copy my existing posts on there with the timestamps, bc rn its on ghost's server, i believe it renews the subscription in september, i think its like $99/yr, but thats going to be fun, hacking ghost a little bit esp the theme im not a huge fan of, but "if it aint broke dont fix it"
- [ ] this week: setting up a SSO (single sign on) with microsoft authenticator for all of my subdomains/dashboards etc, looking @ https://www.authelia.com/ -- doing this, this week, it says it'll take an 1-2 hrs to set up, im soooo busy with hw this week.
- [ ] claude says we can set this up: "Explain-it-back (Feynman active recall): Record yourself explaining a concept out loud → Whisper transcribes → Claude/Qwen grades it against the textbook and flags misconceptions. One of the best ways to actually learn; Speaking > re-reading." cool ok so we will

# im so busy this week, i have so much to do

when im busy im super creative LOL i gotta get back to studying

i am some percentage coffee ☕️ im trying to have a day off from studying for the next week, but i dont think its possible, i think this is just it, this is life from now on, this is my entire summer, studying and getting sugar-free PEACH ice tea from wawa, thats it 

what if i create a mini adventure game, like zelda, RPG, where u can move through the map with bot crawls, up/down/left/right, ok studying but lemme think about this for the week. u know studying is boring hahaaha

i emailed the prof about something, so now MISS CONTROL FREAK (ME) has to wait for a response, i guess it will be tomorrow morning

i didnt see this until earlier today but it is recommended that we also go through this course: https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/18-02-multivariable-calculus-fall-2007/ and i will why not

how i use to study in hs/early undergrad was that i would just memorize things and not really do the problems, and there are classes where that works fine, art history, no problem, memorize everything thats ok, got an A. however, the other classes, like i needed to do the problems and i didnt understand that! until later (i didnt understand this until organic chemistry actually), i was like ohhh i have to do more problems. nobody told me all this i dunno

its the abstract-ish creative-out of the box thinking problems that are the ones that are like **the goal**, like they're doing it here: https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/18-02-multivariable-calculus-fall-2007/pages/assignments/ so i can feed this into claude and ask it to bring it up as im doing the txtbook problems, once it thinks im ready for those. bc i remember from calc 2 for engineers, we had recitation where we had to solve those kinds of problems like in a group or something and talk about it. and there i was like, "ohh i didnt understand this before but now i do" etc. but i can do that with claude, have a back and forth. im such a nerd idc. i never thought i was dumb, i just didnt understand why i was getting like a 20/100 on the exams when i studied so much, like its very frustrating

i heard ppl say that the mit opencourseware for linear algebra is very good, but i remember i didnt need to watch it bc it was taught pretty well at rutgers, like it was good enough.

im going to watch 2 lectures as review then go to sleep then i do the same thing again and again until wednesday, everyday no breaks.

this class like requires: linear algebra, physics and all math until calc 2, it's pretty interesting to see it pull things out from different classes and connect it, i dunno.

got my response GOING TO SLEEP ill watch those lectures tomorrow instead.

- [ ] i have to make a russian manicure appt for next week bc of the wedding i have to go to next next weekend, maybe they open at like 11 am and i have so much to do today, super busy

ohh hes getting bigger, hes got a song with haifa wehbe now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMtuWwGXU08 i play his music in the car with when im with my mom lol ok back to studying

- [ ] going to get this and put it on my macbook air https://www.etsy.com/listing/1685439411/the-interview-james-franco-hate-us-cause

im so tired im going to go to sleep early, then wake up early, to do more hw, yay! T_T honestly

busyyy 📚

when im not busy ill make u laugh, i thought of some things but -> back burner rn, too busy

ill tell u a story as i take another break. i was going out to get coffee from wawa earlier and as i was pulling out of the drive way, this (oncoming) CAR wouldnt wait for me, kept creeping up, i needed to turn my steering wheel to get on the street from the driveway, like just be patient, give me 2 secs and i have the right of way rn, they came after me, and its never a crowded street and its an upper middle class town, its a chill sunday in the summer, like fking relax right?? they kept creeping up like so my windows were down bc its hot and my ac was on, so i honked at them to chill out, and they didnt so when they passed me, it was a woman in a nurses outfit with her window down, we both showed each other the middle finger and drove past each other like it was nothing, fking stupid right?? **if u dunno what ure doing, u frustrate urself and others.** but ppl on tiktok say, like when its a hot day, stay inside bc ppl are crazy, like the heat makes ppl crazy. anyway, what my dad didnt like about my telling him of that story is that, that woman knows where i live but i was like she was wearing a nurses outfit i dunno, like what is she going to do. w/e, another day in nj. in her story, shes "right" but i had the right of way bc i was pulling of my drive way before she showed up. idiot. i wish i was wearing sunglasses, bc thats when it really STINGS (like it gets ingrained in ur memory) when u show someone the middle finger while driving and they're dumb and wrong idc (bc u dont make eye contact with them bc of the sunglasses, it just bothers them for the rest of their life, that u showed them the finger without even eye contact, like im not even bothered to look at u). w/e. that was super annoying.

so busyyy

so busy the entire day but a little free tomorrow, wednesday is free-er

[im on vacation and idc about anything other than that & math](https://www.tiktok.com/@ssexclicious/video/7661748136309689613) idc about u or anyone, or anyone else, **NOBODY** i just dont care

yo i really am busy and i need to study like everyday for my final mid august so im not contributing to this repos bc its distracting and its already kind of a lazy summer

im annoyed and busy at the same time i dont want to think about this all month, i want to make a quick youtube video explaining to ppl on youtube i dunno all the study things i made with claude after my class ends & show demos

i dont like to talk too much about my personal life but these are my two older cousins, my mom's older sister's daughters: https://www.youtube.com/@KhanPlasticSurgery so actually the superstars of my mom's side of the family are two women (their older brother was doing his law degree in software IP law in the early 2000s thats how i know some things). they're both Duke MDs, farrah wasn't at the wedding but tanya was a super professional. they still do stuff with Duke Med School. If this works out u have to get into business school, they're not going to be okay with ur bullsht that ure in right now, im serious u have to show ppl something. tanya is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Amu54yAdo shes a total professional, they're way older than me, i guess mid-to-late 40s. farrah did her undergrad @ rutgers, bc when i was younger, she was just surrounded by books, and tanya went to columbia for her undergrad. they're going to be PISSED when they find out about all this trash penn IP stuff. all the attorneys/MDs/engineers are all a phone call away in my family. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSsWbVMhxGE thats my other cousin, high school class valedictorian now he is a mechE, he's very friendly, maybe he can do a phd i dunno, from my other uncle in north carolina, they have three kids, one cousin is starting med school, and his two younger sisters are pre-med. they're all nice & smart ppl. u know my eldest uncle was like the chief engineer in pakistan, its a position in the goverment, he use to travel around the country solving engineering problems, hes retired now.

# i am not looking at clones/bots etc or contributing much to this git until my class is over mid-august

Also - it popped in my mind the other day, the picture of CDG Jason has on his IG, it’s not in Montreal (yes sometimes i forget my euro history), which is what I thought a couple of weeks ago. It’s not a coincidence, it’s a very deep obsession. jasons such a lunatic he doesnt know how much of a lunatic he even is. im busy i gotta do things today/this week. im busy but heres a theory i just thought of, what if he posted that picture from/of CDG bc hes like thinking "look i can do this too" "i can be here too" crazy! its not random, it gets posted for a reason.

remember this: i read jasons twitter every single day when i worked there, i sat a desk away from his office, in some way trying to understand him, what he was all about bc i swear to God this is true, my biggest curiosity about him was, why would he hire paul? bc remember i had gone on interviews before penn and im like, paul is really dumb, why does he not see that, why does he not care etc. it was like a curiosity of mine. i keep telling u this, my intuition said, stay away from jason. and then, after i resigned, my intuition said, keep an eye on his twitter, keep an eye on him. but i dont read his bluesky for yrs bc its just garbage.

theres a movie i watched a long time ago, like 10+ yrs ago, with my brother bc we liked one of the actors, but it was a dark movie, not horror, but something really dark happens, the they ask why he did it, and he says, that basically, he wanted the ppl, who were victims, to lose faith in the goodness of the world, i.e. there is no good, there are no good ppl, there is only evil and only evil wins. pretty interesting. maybe thats the best closure i can get to get inside the mind of a lunatic. 

busy, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK8o8Bzs bg music while doing math

ok busy

![img](hot-summer-nights-mid-july-doing-math-hw.png)

u know of the turkish dramas ive seen, they SHOW what envy is, how far someone will go, very, very well, so u should know this, it shouldnt have been an surprise, and im watching it with subtitles although there's like a 10%-20% overlap of words between urdu/turkish, but still

u know what i dunno about the MCAT idea, bc claude gave me some alt viewpoints, but, i lose nothing by reviewing biochem + that cancer biology book etc for the next few months, my brother has his "pattern classification" txtbook from grad school on his bookshelf, i saw earlier today, i should be able to get through it after calc 3, u know, ill find a bunch of things to study/read, i dunno if MCATs are the most correct path, maybe i just need to really review some more relevant things

super busyy

u know what im done studying for the day, im going to lay in bed listening to music IM DONE FOR THE DAY THATS ITTT

ive been writing the funniest "one-liner" joke for like the past few months, everyday i think about it and i add/subtract to it, its really tough, like it has to LAND, it has to STICK, i have to say a lot without saying a lot, very stressful LOL u know where its going to go in august, its being chiseled in marble in my notes app for a few months now. im not someone anyone should pick a fight with, im literally the last person on the planet to pick a fight with. the punchline is in the end but theres a build up of QUESTIONS by the reader as the sentence goes on and on LOL thats the GOAL i want it to be read in court & launched into space one day. no one should ever mess with me. its like playing pool, like u want to hit that ball but not that ball meaning u wanna say this but at the same time u dont want to mean that etc. its very very interesting how difficult it is to write a very good joke. but the constraint is that it has to be a one-liner imo bc that just makes it more professional & legit. it has to have many layers of meaning blah blah blah u know, and u dont want to give away everything like the reader has to think about it, etc. something fun i do now and then on the side, work on my one-liner. right now, i have it so it's making me laugh out loud, but can it be funnier? u know, ure never done. i dont want any regrets reading it 5 yrs from now 10 yrs from now etc. I NEED PERFECTION from myself on this. thats the assignment. ppl should study history, i love history, european and american history, those political cartoons mocking a person in power were very effective, they hurt and they STUNG & they got ppl removed. but they were well done, well thought out, that's the point. a sack of sht deserves a sack of sht treatment, why not, what else was going to happen, exactly. 4 words into my rough draft of my one-liner, its already like, WTF why would someone want this for themselves, theyre suppose to be BUSY otherwise, its LOL so far, lets see where it goes. this is why, in the book "slow productivity" i havent read it in awhile, but cal newport either he talks about himself or someone else, BUT, hes saying it takes like 9-10 MONTHS to write a new yorker article, like thats the kind of dedication u need, u know. ok ttyl

fyi i dont talk about my calc3 class here like specific chapters things like that bc its very personal, its just between me and myself, but ill make a youtube video talking about all the things i build with claude for studying, after it ends, i dunno something like that. 

# if i dont update this thing its bc im just busy

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dan3T8-zAdw/ u know all those ppl in my igem team, we couldnt pay them stipends until the end of the summer, there were some ppl in my team who got an apartment, ppl paid for their own gas money for commuting but still made it to every meeting that summer bc they believed in the whole thing we were doing that summer and also in me, that is something ill also remember, we couldnt pay anyone until the end of the summer. i started that team from nothing just the idea that rutgers needed one so i thought (lol) im the best person to do so, i put up fliers i made myself, found ppl, they had to submit an application i made, we got lab space at waksman, our hours that summer were 10am-6pm, i wore so many hats: wet lab, programming, running the whole thing on etherpad, listening to ppl give me advice, making sure stuff gets done, figuring out the science, keeping ppl motivated, and everybody worked for free that summer bc the stipends we could give out at the end of the summer, but i retained everyone that entire summer. i knew who i was, i knew i was intelligent and creative and that i could do it. it was my idea to have wetlab projects & also to have a software project. thats who anyone wants to pick a fight with .. ok no problem. again, i was able to retain everyone that summer in my igem team bc they had to work for free bc the stipends we could only give out end of the summer -- if u want to pick a fight with me, well, im not someone u want to pick a fight with. there was a team the following yr that learned from how we organized our team, bc i had set up project managers etc & they had to report to me and etc and they copied us bc they liked that idea (its open source its ok to copy they gave us credit), i set up quizzes like ppl needed to be quizzed on the plasmid stuff, PMs needed to send out newsletters of their updates etc. i was el presidente & team leader, and everyone in my team was so confident that during the conference no one felt like insecure, everyone was very confident in who we were, we had great projects. and that was something i thought was great, no one felt insecure, we were happy with our projects AND when we presented, there were ppl who said, ~"we specifically came out to see u guys present" ok gotta sleep. if u cant retain someone (ME) and that i was on the penn medicine payroll, & i retained ppl in my igem team who were commuting from NORTH JERSEY (1.5 hrs) others who got an apartment in new brunswick, nj -- FOR $0 THAT SUMMER UNTIL we could give them stipends end of summer -- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN lol that u suck jason forever rotfl i talked to ron weiss briefly at the conf https://be.mit.edu/faculty/ron-weiss/ he was saying that he went from princeton (they didnt have an igem team anymore) to MIT, and i just had this thought in my mind, that maybe id work with him one day somehow. who knows. :) gnite! heres an interesting ron weiss paper https://cris.huji.ac.il/en/publications/tumor-selective-gene-circuits-enable-highly-specific-localized-ca/ im busy studying so ill come back to this. i remember now, so anyway he wrote that paper about sythetic biology and it was my required reading for everyone and i presented for everyone to understand it in one of our first meetings, i remember now i had emailed him bc me and jim stapleton thought he was still at princeton, maybe he could be our advisor (which is fine not a big deal to want to ask someone, jim came from uc berkeley/stanford not a big deal to want to ask him that) but he left by then, BUT he ended being our judge when we presented but he remembered that i emailed him, so as i shook his hand i just thought, maybe ill work with him in the future i dunno, anyway gotta study. oh thats right, that was the other cool thing for me, like having him as our judge, and being like, look it ended up happening, i ended up putting a team together, the area was in complex circuits, and he was our judge (which i did not know was going to happen, i did not even know he was going to be there), interesting right. something similar happened/could happen bc i wrote in scott belsky's name in my personal statement FOR SO MANY YRS, but i did not know hes literally involved with start ups at literally the same school, pretty interesting.

> oh thats right, that was the other cool thing for me, like having him as our judge, and being like, look it ended up happening, i ended up putting a team together, the area was in complex circuits, and he was our judge (which i did not know was going to happen, i did not even know he was going to be there), interesting right.

that's like, "i guess i did not need you, ron weiss, to be our advisor" moment -- i and we did it all by ourselves and our projects (esp bacterial full adder) were at the level of complexity of stuff he was doing. lol hehehehehee retrospect #micdrop thats why it matters to send an email to someone, and i always will. i wanna clear something up, he wasnt rude in the email, its just that he wasnt physically in NJ anymore so he could not be our advisor etc, but i remember now first seeing him as one of our judges, i had recognized him. we knew who he was, bc of the paper and that he was at princeton and we knew who george church was, we had a running joke/goal of competing with church's team lol, we had to be better than him hahaha

jim stapleton quizzed george church's team and told us they didnt know too much about their own projects bc they did not come up with it themselves, it was george church's project and they were just pipetting things or w/e -- jim is awesome he's such an epic person, esp to meet esp as an undergrad. but the funniest joke i still remember, someone said during the conf in my team, "oh look, Penn State is here, we have to talk slow so they understand us" rotfl when i was at (not Penn State but) Penn IBI, so many ppl, this is a true story, sooo many ppl, said they could not understand me, i was talking too fast. it would always think of that joke (rooted in reality) everytime i had to talk slower for someone at Penn. it's still funny, whenever i see Penn State, i think of that joke.

yoo let me soak in this moment that i forgot happened, not completely bits and pieces i guess i can now put together in my understanding. i presented in front of ron weiss, with MY igem team & our projects (2 wet lab & 1 software), "complex circuits in synthetic biology" that i started from nothing as a 22 yr old. hehehehehe not just humble brag but just brag. i should write his name as one of my judges in my cv when i re-apply, who knows what will happen, maybe he still remembers me/us/my projects i dunno. btw we were not copying him (at all), i was interested in that stuff (mixing engineering (bc remember i like physics) + biology) and so we all were.

we were so good and so authentic and original that we could pick apart the best teams at the igem conf and be like, "yeahhh the only difference was u guys had like a budget that was 10x ours" and i made sure (and so did jim) that everyone knew (including myself), we were not lacking in talent (except for money, resources, we had no ron weiss etc), so everyone felt content enough at the conference (and we had the money to bring like 8 of us to the conf, and we had voted bc i had asked everyone, can we make the stipends a little lower so we can bring more ppl and everyone was ok with that) that we used that summer well. i should make a voice note about igem but a lot of strategy i dont want to give away, and im busy, we'll see, i dunno.

lemme soak in another moment i forgot: my team mates and i, voted/were okay with taking a little bit of a pay cut from our stipends, to bring more ppl to the conference, bc we were trying to not leave anyone out. i forgot about that and im very proud of that. there were like 8 of us at the conf.

yo 10 out of 10 tiktok, perfect hahahaha lololl https://www.tiktok.com/@evanjsternzy/video/7666265249594576158

i forgot about all this! OK i need a good math grade then i can do some fun things. if u guys give me an INTERVIEW this cycle, i can ask him prof ron weiss if he wants to be in my external phd committee

ok im busy for like the rest of the day

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaqpC4kq8Gpw after calc3 is over, so i guess i like this math stuff, OK great, i still need yrs and yrs to be good at it tho, but that is genuinely who i am, i am more of a math/cs person who applies it to biology. i didnt really know this about myself until i got the unbiased office hrs from claude.

u know what, when i was going through jasons dumb ig and dumb bluesky like 2-3 weeks ago, i discovered dumb things about him, sure, but i discovered stuff about you guys too, this whole thing is crazier than i think i had understood it, there's more than happened/is happening, i.e. theres more to this, and i just dont care, im just going to be even more self-obsessed, and focus on my own stuff bc u guys are crazy, its not one school thats covering their ass, its u guys too -- and i didnt do anything wrong. the way out of this for me is to IGNORE everyone and focus on myself, put a good application together by dec bc this is bullsht i didnt do anything wrong.

i TRULY realy, really am super busy, lots of calc 3 problems to do, lots to memorize etc. & things to understand. i am genuinely, TRULY, really, really just busy.

the dress i wanted to "rent" so i can take a selfie with it after calc 3 but before calc 4 and apply to that VP of Product position @ Rent the Runway, is sold out completely https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/rabanne/black_long_sleeve_lace_gown soo lame but maybe i can write in my cover letter, like that dress on rabanne's website is $1800+ so i get why renting it would make sense i dunno, its such a statement that re-wearing it doesnt make sense so why buy it but i feel like, thats my style but they dont have too much stuff like that. they need a better curator/stylist.

i really am busy, its a summer class and its alot, like im just home studying

if im not updating this, its bc im just busy and i dont want to lose my focus. :)

last week, for my exam, i got this question wrong about, i think it was the only question i got wrong, two curves not meeting bc of asymptotes, and i was like really emotional for like an hr, i was just really thinking about it, deeply for a lot of reasons. like i was literally sitting in my room in the dark past midnight, my hue lights were dimmed, just thinking about it for an hr to myself. so i really am busy :)