# pics-rarely-but-sometimes-on-the-weekends_close-to-midnight-bc-im-busy__no-AI-editing-or-any-editing-ever-or-any-filters

# sometimes, some weekends or not i dunno but not always

# the whole thing is my prerogative of what i do on my server and etc.

# pics sometimes, rarely bc having a neutral, bare-minimum rapport with this group is ok with me and i want my haters to see me win. and it should also be known that i did all this, as in, i achieved all this, all by myself. my pictures are not for anyone, they're just there and exist. if you harbor some or a lot of resentment towards me for being happy and smiling, let me know! or don't bc it's not my problem.

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hang on maybe 10 mins

pretty tired today actually i think i have spring allergies, i love that pink skirt, its difficult to style tho bc its such a statement piece, i love that it's not red or blue, but like just bright pink, herve leger -- it was not cheap i remember i got it bc i was bored when i was at sampled haha

going to sleep, lots of things to do this week on this server & models to run

will upload closer to midnight, busy, ppl are over

pics later, out to dinnerr, ok gimmie like 20 mins

i gotta sleep more tomorrow afternoon

my face broke out after my bros wedding earlier this month -- nothing of concern, happens etc. not a big deal, not a common thing for me but happens once in awhile.

those BCBGMAXAZRIA skirts, here's my story about them. ok so i had a couple of them, and then when i started at sampled, i had to be on-site a couple days a week then i could be remote the rest of the week for the first couple of months. soo, thats pretty high level position @ that company so i couldnt wear like w/e & its industry, but i also had to sit for 8 hrs and do bioinformatics/programming/zoom meetings & like i needed to be comfortable too & i/we had eyes on us from other teams / other high level ppl bc everyone knew how important the bioinfo team was. right?? everything that was going on in the company was cc'd to our team like all the time. interesting problem to solve. so anyway, i had those skirts, they're made out of a thick stretch nylon, no zipper, i use to wear those sometimes and i was comfortable for 8 hrs sitting etc. to this day, i collect them. not the pattens but the solid colors. the black one i have i use to wear it often with leggings, bc otherwise, on my remote days, i would work from my bed lol bahahahaahaa, there were a lot of long-time ex-merck and ex-bms ppl there and etc. bc nj has the most amount of pharmaceutical companies than any other state. u couldnt look like sht bc u represent someone who is handling clinical sequencing samples etc. we had a whole tutorial they would do every yr or every 6 months, like the correct way to write in official docs was to use a black pen and strike out ur mistake with one line etc. things like that. i dunno whats this concept called, where u put a lot of thought in to something @ the start, so u dont have to put almost any thought in to it later, i collect those skirts every so often to this day.

atleast once i was the lead on changing clinical legacy code, i dont remember if it was sequencing or microarray, but i changed it, it was python i remember, but that's just the first step. then i had to go onsite and print out this change - code document (like 10+ pages) with screenshots of the before & after the changes of my code and how it effected the output, write in with black pen, the summary, and then get it signed by this non-bioinfo but important person who was watching me lol, i had to go back and forth many times to their office bc i had to write more info etc or i needed more screenshots, like the whole day was spent doing that. but thats the thing. u cant be some weak dweeb programmer on the side in a lab, which is what my undergrad research advisor use to drill in my head, like u need to interact with ppl/present urself well and with confidence too. also anyone who thinks u can vibe code in bioinformatics has no idea what theyre talking about. thats right, once my mom, i think it was 3rd yr, caught me going to class @ rutgers once, in something she didnt like, and she said something i still remember to this day, she said "you can do all that computer science stuff, that's fine, it's great, but you can't dress like those people, u cant look like a geek" theres so much wisdom behind that, as ive gotten older, i think that stereotype of a programmer dressing in like walmart plaid shirts etc, with no presentation/social skills, spends too much time on reddit/video games etc, that kind of a person in a lab/company, i think that is someone who is resentful easily of other ppl's success, i think that. i remember once in undergrad in lab, in that algae lab, the PI once jokingly/politely pointed out that, maybe, just maybe, its not the best idea for me, someone who was writing serious R/Bioconductor code, working on sequencing data and it was suppose to all be part of a paper, that maybe, just maybe, i should not wear bright pink sweatpants to lab that said "victoria's secret" ROTFL i did that a few times before it was pointed out to me hahahaha

ohh herf derf, this hobby of mine, the only thing i do, spend time on reddit and play video games nonstop after work, ohhh i wonder why ppl at work dont think im interesting or like me or why im not doing better than other ppl (including women) -- yeah, i dunno get better hobbies (like read non-fiction) and fking present urself well & have social skills, like r u going to learn how to do that while being in ur basement and reading/posting on reddit all day or playing video games. i cant stand that sht & i stay away from those kinds of ppl at work. they get resentful very quickly, their thing is "im putting in the same number of hrs as this other person, and im not better than them" yeah well, get better hobbies. thats on you, not on me. my other pet peeve is someone (esp at work) who is like a "foodie" like sht the fk up, that's not a real hobby, that's not a flex. there are plenty of tiktoks ppl have made where essentially they're saying, there are ppl @ work, where from the hours of 9 am - 5 pm (etc), they're "somebody" and then after 5 pm, they log off, and they're losers, and those ppl can be really dangerous.

i profile ppl while driving bc my dad said, when he was teaching me to drive in hs, that ~ "whenever u see someone in front of you driving like a little crazy, change ur lanes and pass that person, its not worth it to take a risk" right? like recognize ur safety could be at risk and get out of that situation asap. i profile ppl at work, like LOL once this person (bioinfo/comp bio) who was giving recs to someone else about restaurants in nyc (bc they lived in nyc), eventually TURNED THEIR BACK towards me (bc they were sitting next to me), bc i had nyc restaurant recs for that person too. its not rocket science to be a "foodie" LOL get a better hobby hahaha, then i knew, ok, when i have work-related questions with that person, just watch out for that person, say extra "lols" or something etc.

actually, why dont i say it. ive seen some tiktoks ppl make where they said, like if u are a put together woman @ work, u have to be a little bit of a people pleaser, bc there are ppl that will put u under extra scrutiny, bc ure doing better than them. it's like a whole game, u have to be "fake nice" to ppl at work that are, honestly, losers outside of work. its a stupid game. i wasn't going to be "fake nice" to paul wang, in fact, i reported him multiple times to penn's hr hahahaha idc, and im not around ppl like that anymore at work, i think that's what they wanted me to do, essentially comply to their bullsht and be nice to them, and i wasnt hahahahahahaa

biggest pet peeve about anyone (esp @ work): a "foodie" that's not a "real" hobby, like go read eric schlosser ure just some sheep hahahahahaa and this hobby of being a "foodie" like ure replaced by AI and/or GLP hahaha giving restaurant recs in nyc rotfl like who cares.

yeah here's a REAL hobby: 1. get a fking library card 2. ummm go to ur public library (free & open to anyone), walk around and pick out some books about skills u should learn/know about even something simple as writing better. i do this, i've done this since middle school, hs, undergrad etc. video games/reddit (granted there are useful subreddits, but with caution)/being a foodie doesnt make u a competitive or interesting/cultured person -- and now u're left behind and will become resentful of others. ok. i have things to do.

thats my new-ish life rule, i.e. "this person is a loser outside of work, be fake nice to them & watch out for them." and i'd like to add "they should not know anything about you outside of work"

with that, just remember about jason: from the hours of 9 am to 5 pm (etc), he's a "somebody" dept chair or whatever, but after he logs off, walks through the supermarket, airport etc. he's a nobody. nobody looks at him once in public, nobody looks at him twice in public. he's a loser outside of work. (well @ work too)

those ppl at sampled that were long time senior ppl at merck or bms and etc. (10 - 20 yrs) dont know python, dont know prolly what DNA even is, right? but theyre walking around that huge office building and they know immediately ur potential/how hard u work at that company based on how ure dressed and communicate (write & speak & present). and ure not going to impress those ppl if ure someone who is a foodie/reddit person/play video games. that's the big thing i learned there which i already knew. if we end up doing this oreilly book that i talked about in my personal statement, id write that somewhere, honestly i would.

omg haha i dont drink but ive noticed since hs, that when i say to someone, i dont drink, but for that person, their hobby outside of work is alcohol, they take it so personally sometimes, get obsessed. like what's the flex there? its a substance that ppl get really addicted to and it ruins lives (i.e. drunk driving) so idc about it. why r u mad, i dont get it. i have better things to do with my life. ive had friends in hs who said "u end up shtting blood" and it "destroys ur neurons" ok then what's the flex?? i still dont get it and idc.

> those ppl at sampled that were long time senior ppl at merck or bms and etc. (10 - 20 yrs) dont know python, dont know prolly what DNA even is, right? but theyre walking around that huge office building and they know immediately ur potential/how hard u work at that company based on how ure dressed and communicate (write & speak & present). and ure not going to impress those ppl if ure someone who is a foodie/reddit person/play video games. that's the big thing i learned there which i already knew. if we end up doing this oreilly book that i talked about in my personal statement, id write that somewhere, honestly i would.

on this topic, for taking someone on that is/has worked at merck or bms etc. for 10-20 yrs. to impress them with n o m i a l, there's a certain language they speak in terms of understanding if ure worth their time: how u present ur self, communicate/speak/write etc. its not a generation gap either, young ppl pick this up and do it well too imo.

and that day i had to be on-site for sampled, sure, day 1 was me in my bed working on python code in literally pjs hahaha, changing clinical legacy code. sure. but day two when i was on-site, that person who had to sign-off on that change code document, was not judging my python code (bc they dunno python or prolly even excel that much). they were judging my ability to fill out that 10-page document with my screenshots and hand written explainations with black pen & how i presented/represented myself. that was their domain that they were a master of.

what those penn hr ppl got me on, bc they had NO IDEA what was going on LOL, but they got me on, my walking into the bioinfo core at 10:05 am and not 10:00 am (bc i had my work hrs changed to 10 am to 6 pm bc of the traffic). ROTFL and i still remember thinking, "yeah, no, id not wake up even 5 mins before work to walk in to this sht show" i would shower before work tho which i am sure ppl i worked with did not even do. its a stupid thing to judge someone coming into work 5 mins late bc like with remote work, at sampled, we started at 9:15 am. and at m s k u could log off for the day once ure done with ur work. so yeah, none of that was ever important. still makes me laugh tho hahahaha. someone walking in late to work doesnt mean anything prolly most of the time, it's just something stupid to get someone on. my time at penn from 2015-feb 2017 was a complete waste of my time. i was around ppl who had no idea what they were doing. "yeah, no id rather sleep or shower for an extra 5 mins than walk in to this sht show on time." and i was right hahahahaha like i had a car, i paid for the hospital parking garage, i lived on main line, i lived alone in the suburbs in my own apt, that didnt matter to them. but those 5 mins of being late did hahahaah lol so dumb.

thats right, i had an interview @ columbia in june 2017, it was a hot day i remember. it was a group in the biostats dept also doing bioinfo stuff. they were mostly ppl who just had an undergrad degree but were experts (they were really fun ppl). and then there was a person who was supposed to interview me who was a senior programmer, he showed up at NOON to work rotfl. and nobody cared bc showing up to late at work is truly not indicative of anything, esp not now with remote work. so during that interview, seeing that, i was again like "all that penn stuff was bullsht"

if those penn losers ever said to u, i was late to work there, by what, 5-10 mins. sure, ok. but i arrived EARLY and ON-TIME to all of my interviews in NYC bahahahahahaha rotfl. and that performance review that was shared with u guys in 2017 should have raised more QUESTIONS, like why is paul wang writing at best, at the 6th grade reading/writing level, bc that's what i thought when i read it. CRITICAL THINKING MATTERS.

i still think about that guy from time to time, i dont think he was a senior programmer, i think he was just older than me, but he was a bioinfo programmer, he was at COLUMBIA and in june 2017, walked in to work at NOON ROTFL and NOBODY CARED & he didnt explain himself to anyone when he walked in. they just told me, that guy hasnt come in to work yet to interview me, and my mind was blown rotfl. he was living in the future. and their bioinfo director previously had worked at philips health. all those interviews taught me the whole penn thing from 2015-2017 was just dumb.

theres so many moments i experienced at sampled that were just pure class. i remember, there was a quarterly town hall, and there were like 200+ ppl there, and they had breakfast for everyone like coffee and pasteries etc. (and my teammates would save me a seat like it was hs or undergrad lol) but afterwards, when i was leaving, this person was waiting outside the door, to give me my ID which had my picture and i had never met her (she had a MS from rutgers, it was 50%+ former rutgers ppl), but she recognized me as i left the auditorium to give me my ID. instead of an email "ohh come by to pick up ur ID" she was just waiting for me (she had a mini-stack of IDs to give to ppl) to come out so she could hand it to me. we should be allies with that company

i have to tell claude that whenever it builds a webapp for me on my server, that the fking time should be in NYC EST not UTC, who cares about UTC, i dont, i dont care about UTC, never have, never will. i dont care about EUROs when im visiting some website for online shopping and it automatically makes the currency in EUROS like idc. etc. what the fk am i going to do with these prices in EUROs like why.

i have a lot of work to do for the rest of the week, this is getting archived, possibly until the weekend, i dunno, im busy.

omg kilometers i dont care about. LITERS i dont care about either. grams and ounces im ok with. a ton im also ok with. kilograms i dont care about either.

i think i never mentioned this but one of the projects i worked on at sampled was for g i n k g o  b i o w o r k s, aside from pharmaceutical companies in nj, they worked with biotech companies in SF and Boston & govt agencies in D.C. i know so much about things. * not just they, i was on those projects.

newtons im ok with, watts im also ok with and celsius idc about but it makes sense. but in terms of the weather, idc about celsius at all.

the problem with rutgers is that theyre not doing bioinfo at the level i would like to do it, but university of maryland, also a public university, some of the best ppl in bioinfo are there. its been what like over a decade since i graduated, not one PI rutgers got thats in bioinfo at the level of like university of maryland/someone in nyc and thats really too bad.

im busy but i have to clear something up. that guy, who was a staff bioinfo programmer (non-PhD) @ columbia 168th st. that was one of the ppl who was suppose to interview me but he showed up to work at NOON and we all had to wait for him to show up, including ppl at worked there in that team of other non-PhDs (this was the group that re-purposed spotify's luigi (data science) into bioinfo pipelines in june 2017 by themselves), anyway, the lesson isnt that he showed up to work at NOON, that's not why i think about that or that guy. it's that he accrued so much **technical leverage** in that group, where they 1. didnt report him for coming in late 2. and it was accepted that, that's just something he could do. i still to this day think about that. hes working for more than 8hrs or just knows his stuff really really well to be able to do something like that. that was the point, that's the goal. lol

im going to double-down on this, literally, like a broken record. his "boss" at columbia @ 168th had an appt as a professor & previously worked at philips health. and that guy did not have a PhD but was able to do that, like the bioinfo group depended on him that much haha, its not easy to do that. to the untrained eye, its like, ohh this guy is a mess coming in to work at NOON, but really its the opposite. he not only accrued technical leverage but had a certain rapport & trust etc. with very serious upper level ppl like PIs where he could do that & they weren't reporting him. AGAIN to the fking untrained eye, he's a mess, but if you know, you know that, its not easy to do that. an absolute legend imo. i still think about that for a reason.

the reason i recognized what that was, was bc in undergrad, when i was in the algae lab as a bioinformaticist, i was working on that small RNA-seq paper, LOL i had accrued the technical leverage to do things like that, walk in whenever i wanted and/or wear bright pink sweatpants that said "victorias secret" (remember i was paid $13/hr) and no one could say anything bc that paper needed to be finished asap by the non-technical post-doc i was working with. so i get it. i get what that was. so i think it's great that AI tools like claude are democratizing building tools with code for everyone, but the downside is that ... this ... accruing technical leverage -> to do whatever u want at work, is under attack. and i dont like that, so much so, bc that is what motivates me to be better than AI -> so i can accrue technical leverage @ work and no one can say anything to me. thats the point, thats the goal.

for the record, i do have better heros in my life, but that guy walking into work at NOON is still a legend.

how good was i in R/Bioconductor in that algae lab from 2012-2014. well, hadley wickham himself had to answer my questions on stackoverflow bc no one else could. and i ended up teaching the post-docs around me R/Bioconductor, they came to me for help (there were 3 post docs in that lab at the time). so those bright pink "victoria's secret" sweatpants, i would wear, yes, but out of politeness stopped wearing to lab, but no one could tell me not to. lol. yeah.

i love that i know the behind the scenes details of two groups bc of interviews ive had in april and june 2017. they were saying "yeah he comes in late" and to this day im like how do u pull that off at columbia, but if u pay attention to things, u can reverse engineer whats going on.

soapbox: if more ppl knew u could achieve things like that in life, like coming in at noon, they would not be sitting around playing video games, being foodies and watching loser sht on netflix/hulu and doing loser sht in life.

so that columbia interview in june 2017 was with d a v i d g o l d s t e i n's group although i didnt meet him (maybe i was suppose to next), i met everyone else & they liked me so i dunno what happened (we'll find out one day) so anyway i saw on linkedin, after he left columbia, and started a c t i o  b i o s c i e n c e s he took some of those ppl i met with him to his company. yeah so he doesnt care if someone is walking in at noon (and he's more successful than jason was or even now is), so that settles that. all that penn stuff was just a waste of time. actually u know what, first of all, they could still be using luigi at a c t i o then, and then i just remembered, i looked a few yrs ago and that guy went with them also to a c t i o, so yeah walking in at noon never hurt his career hahahaha -- what a legend. well not even spotify is using luigi anymore: https://engineering.atspotify.com/2022/03/why-we-switched-our-data-orchestration-service d a v i d g o l d s t e i n would never hire paul wang to run his bioinfo group hahaha rotfl so i knew that in june 2017 then i had the califano interview in sep 2017 also at columbia and then none of those worked out i dunno why or what happened bc they all liked me -- but i became suspicious, like i knew it was penn related somehow but i told myself, ill drive myself crazy if i believe that bc idc about those ppl so i just kept moving forward. i can imagine jason basically must have shat in his chair at richards in june 2017 if d a v i d g o l d s t e i n reached out to him asking about me & that i interviewed there. what a loser, so he must have put in a bad word bc hes a loser. we'll find out! we def will.

theres a lesson there with luigi and them repurposing it for bioinfo. just bc snakemake or nextflow exists, they didnt want to constrain themselves, its very creative.

d a v i d g o l d s t e i n was not building some pennai bullsht and tweeting nonstop ROTFL hes got better things to do

june 2017 - so the bioinfo programmers/SE in his group were pretty happy ppl, a lot of them didnt have a masters degree or a phd that i met, they were allowed to work remotely (i was not at penn even tho it should have been ok) they said they would work from the library on columbia's campus bc it had a nicer view sometimes, walking in at noon -- that was the culture there. so he was able to give direction to that group so well they didnt need ms/phds is the point. so if it was ever said to u guys, i would have been more successful if i had a ms degree yeah, i wouldnt have been working at penn LOL in the IBI if i had one. rotfl. i was only there bc of calc 2 for engineers, i felt i needed to work for a max of 2 yrs before applying to phd programs (i have google spreadsheet from 2014 that outlines this, timestamped.) im so annoyed i wonder what happened with this interview ahhhh
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pretty busy tomorrow so prolly nothing tomorrow

im on vacation starting tomorrow, i have math stuff starting too, it is up to my discretion what i do with this repos/when i update it etc.